Didn't they teach you Stranger Danger in school?
by It.Is.Real
Summary: The pointless, plot-less rom-com AU where Dean accidently sends a text to the wrong number and finds himself interested in Castiel.
1. Chapter 1

**DEAN**

_CAS_

SAM

**GABRIEL**

12th August/ 13th August (Sunday night, Monday morning)

**11:34 P.M.**

**I swear to GOD. I will never forgive you for this. Ever. Cry yourself to sleep, motherfucker.**

_11:35 P.M._

_I am sorry?_

**11:37 P.M.**

**Sorry? Wait till I get home. I will KILL you.**

_11:40 P.M._

_That sounds… aggressive. However, I believe you have the wrong number._

**11:53 P.M.**

**Fuck. Shit, I am so sorry. That was meant for my brother. He got me this crappy phone that likes being touched and he ran my car into a pole and I hate him so much and I think I should stop talking now.**

_11:55 P.M._

_You mean an iPhone? You should thank your brother. Also, no problem. As long as you're not a serial killer._

**11:56 P.M.**

**Serial killer I am not. Opposite, actually. I make a living out catching them. Wait, are you a serial killer?**

_11:58 P.M._

_I wouldn't tell you if I were._

**00:00**

**Touché. Do you normally talk to people who accidently text you?**

_00:04 A.M_

_You amuse me. If I have to read one more bigoted idea of a 'religious person', I will shoot myself._

**00:05 A.M.**

**You'll go to Hell for that, I hear.**

_00:06 A.M._

_Better than whatever I have here._

**00:07 A.M.**

**Oooh, Midnight woes. So you're a…writer?**

_00:07 A.M_

_Nope._

**00:08 A.M.**

**A priest?**

_00:09 A.M._

_Ew, no. _

_00:10 A.M._

_I mean, no. I am not my father._

**00:12 A.M.**

**Aha! So you're father was a priest?**

_00:13 A.M._

_Shouldn't you be sleeping? Or working?_

**00:14 A.M.**

**Paperwork. I would kill myself, except that'd be stupid.**

_00:17 A.M._

_People who kill themselves aren't stupid._

**00:19 A.M.**

**I know, life is stupid.**

_00:20 A.M._

_Midnight woes?_

**00:23 A.M.**

**Oh, har har. I have to work now, stranger.**

_00:25 A.M._

_Have a nice life, stranger._

15th August (Wednesday)

**04:38 P.M.**

**Are you a teacher?**

_04:50 P.M._

_Didn't they teacher you Stranger Danger in school?_

**04:51 P.M.**

**I graduated about 12 years ago, maybe they did.**

_04:52 P.M._

_So, you're in your late 20-ies?_

**04:59 P.M.**

**…Sneaky. Reporter?**

_05:01 P.M._

_Your last guess was closer._

**05:02 P.M.**

**A… teacher? Scholar! In… Scriptures?**

**05:02 P.M.**

**CAS, YOU SON OF A BITCH, WHY WON'T YOU PICK UP?**

_05:03 P.M._

_Honestly, Gabriel, I am not coming to the bar._

**05:05 P.M.**

**WHY THE FUCK NOT?**

_05:07 P.M._

_Firstly, stop capitalizing everything; it's not going to change my mind. Secondly, it's Wednesday. I have work tomorrow._

**05:10 P.M.**

**I HATE YOU.**

_05:11 P.M._

_I'm sorry. My brother won't leave me alone. No, I am not a scholar. Please. I teach at a college._

**05:12 P.M.**

**What did he want? So… you're a teacher.**

_05:14 P.M._

_Teachers are for high school. I'm a professor. He wanted to get drunk at Harvelle's. He's an idiot._

**05:15 P.M.**

**Same difference. Is he younger? Wait, Harvelle's? Like, Ellen Harvelle's Roadside Steak House?**

_05:16 P.M._

_…Yes._

**05:18 P.M.**

**We live in the same town. Awkward.**

_05:20 P.M._

_Yes._

17th August ( Friday)

07:39 A.M.

Wait, so let me get this straight. You were talking to a complete stranger comfortably, gender, name, age unknown and now you feel weird talking to him because you live in the same town?

**07:40 A.M.**

**That's the gist of it.**

7:41 A.M.

You are an idiot.

**07:43 A.M.**

**Shut up. I don't even know why I told you. Good bye, I'm going to work.**

07:47 A.M.

I have to be in court in half an hour, so listen well. Talk to him. Honestly, you're still strangers. So you live in the same town. That'll be great for when you decide to profess your undying love for him. Now stop acting like an angsty 16 year old. Jerk.

**07:50 A.M.**

**Bitch.**

18th August (Saturday)

**01:59 A.M.**

**I need you like the flower needs the sun in winter.**

_02:01 A.M._

_If it is winter, the flowers do not need sunlight. They are dead._

**02:02 A.M.**

**Morbid. But I luurrvvv**

**Excuse my brother. He's a moose.**

_02:05 A.M._

_I do not know what to make of this._

**02:06 A.M.**

**Dean's throwing a hissy bitch fit because I'm talking to you. That's the name of guy you've been talking with. Dean. I'm Sam.**

_02:07 A.M._

_The brother who ran his car into a pole, I assume?_

**02:08 A.M**

**Okay, not the best first impression. Would you like me better if I told you I'm a lawyer?**

_02:10 A.M._

_You're obviously not like your brother when it comes to giving away information._

**02:11 A.M.**

**Well, Dean's a litt-**

**Hey, stranger.**

_02:13 A.M._

_Dean._

**02:21 A.M.**

**Stranger? Sorry for the late reply, had to knock out my brother.**

_02:22 A.M._

_Castiel._

**02:24 A.M.**

**What? Is that a code word or something?**

_02:25 A.M._

_It's my name._

**02:25 A.M.**

**Oh. OH!**

_02:26 A.M._

_Yes. _

09:41 A.M.

You're welcome.

_06:23 P.M._

_Would you arrest me if I murdered someone?_

**06:23 P.M.**

**Yes. Who would that someone be?**

_06:24 P.M._

_My brother. _

**06:25 P.M.**

**The one who wanted you to go to Havelle's?**

_06:27 P.M._

_No, the one who calls me at work and gives me the annual "Come home, Castiel, or face my wrath." Speech._

**06:28 P.M.**

**His wrath? That sounds… wrath?**

_06:29 P.M._

_I need a drink._

**06:30 P.M.**

**Look on the bright side; if it's annual, his wrath hasn't come yet.**

_06:31 P.M._

_It will. And I will die._

**06:31 P.M.**

**Then I'll arrest him. **

_06:32 P.M._

_Then I'll be dead._

**06:34 P.M.**

**Then I'll see your naked dead body in the morgue.**

_06:34 P.M._

_Crude._

**06:35 P.M.**

**You know you love it.**

The next time Castiel went with Gabriel to Harvelle's, when he pushed the bills forward, Jo pushed them back.

"On the house?"

"On Dean."

Castiel looked owlishly at the money.

20th August (Monday)

**11:00 A.M.**

**You must be one hot dude.**

_11:01 A.M_

_I'm sorry? How do you know I'm male?_

**11:02 A.M.**

**Jo won't shut up about you and you're 'deep blue eyes'.**

_11:03 A.M._

_I'm flattered. In a creepy way._

**11:04 A.M.**

**Oh, dear lord. Please tell me that you have enough sense not to date her so I can tell her so she'll let me eat in peace.**

_11:05 A.M._

_Oh, God. How old is she?_

**11:07 A.M.**

**Jailbait.**

_11:07 A.M._

_Tell her I am at least 10 years her senior. As a matter of fact, tell her I'm gay._

**11:09 A.M.**

**Done and done. Are you?**

_11:10 A.M._

_Yes._

**11:10 A.M.**

**Okay.**

_11:11 A.M._

_Does that bother you?_

**11:12 A.M.**

**Honestly, the only thing bothering me right now is the fact that there isn't enough cheese in my burger.**

_11:15 A.M._

_Okay._

**11:20 A.M.**

**Jeez, Cas, no, I don't care if you're gay or whatever. Can I eat my burger with you angst-ing on the other side now?**

_11:21 A.M._

_I don't 'angst'._


	2. Chapter 2

24 August (Friday night)

**11:54 P.M.**

**I h8 mytr fahterw**

_11:55 P.M._

_I never even knew my father._

**11:57 P.M.**

**Myiu fahrter waasd adiclk**

_11:57 P.M._

_Dean, are you okay?_

_11:59 P.M._

_Dean?_

/Incoming call; 11:59 P.M./

"_Dean?"_

"**Cas? Cas! Oh, wow, you have a nice voice. All… sexy."**

"_Dean, are you drunk?"_

"**No! Yes. Maybe. Did I tell you that you're voice is awesome?"**

"_Dean, hand the phone to Ellen or Jo."_

"**JOOOOOO, JOJO. JOCELYN. What, what do you mean that's not your full name? Here, Cas wants to talk to you."**

"Hello?"

"_Hello? Jo?"_

"Yeah?"

"_Is anyone with Dean?"_

"Jealous?"

"_Jo."_

"No, yeesh. He's flying solo. And batshit drunk."

"_Right. Keep him there. And keep him… safe."_

"Can't do much against his personal demons."

Dean woke up with a god awful headache, candy and a tablet by his beside, along with water and text in his phone.

_01:35 A.M_

_Hope Gabriel reached you home safely._

Dean grabbed the nearest pillow and pressed it over his aching head.

25th August (Saturday)

**08:03 A.M.**

**Thanks, Cas. My head hurts like a bitch.**

_08:04 A.M._

_Sure, Dean._

**08:05 A.M.**

**Oh, God, what did I say to you last night?**

_08:07 A.M._

_Nothing much, Dean. Just that I have an awesome voice and that you hate your father._

**08:09 A.M.**

**Son of a bitch.**

**06:16 P.M.**

**What're you doing?**

_06:17 P.M._

_I'm torn between finishing the reading I'm supposed to do before the semester starts and just, I don't even know._

**06:17 P.M.**

**Watching Casa Erotica? ;)**

_06:18 P.M._

_Casa Erotica bores me._

**06:19 P.M.**

**Really?**

_06:19 P.M._

_Really._

**06:21 P.M.**

**So, what do you do to jerk off?**

_06:22 P.M._

_Seriously, Dean?_

**06:24 P.M.**

**Seriously, Cas.**

_06:25 P.M._

_You'll just have to figure that out, I suppose._

**06:26 P.M.**

**Oh, I will.**

27th August, (Monday)

**03:03 P.M.**

**Sam says I should probably tell you.**

_03:04 P.M._

_Tell me what?_

**03:06 P.M.**

**I, uh. I'm not exactly straight.**

**03:07 P.M.**

**Cas?**

**03:15 P.M.**

**Cas, you there?**

_03:16 P.M._

_Yes, sorry, I was cooking. Dean, are you gay?_

**03:17 P.M.**

**No! No, I just, I'm bi, okay?**

_03:18 P.M._

_Okay._

**03:18 P.M.**

**Okay. Right.**

_03:20 P.M._

_I made some pie. I could send you some?_

_03:21 P.M._

_We don't have to meet or anything, I could just send someone to your office. It's around your lunch time, right?_

**03:22 P.M.**

**Marry me?**

_03:24 P.M._

_No._


	3. Chapter 3

/Incoming call; 04:01 P.M./

"**Holy fuck, Cas, this is flawless. This is unholy. Did you sell your soul to the devil or something?"**

"_Dean? What, no. Thank you?"_

"**My, don't you sound flustered? I like."**

"_Shut up. I just wasn't expecting you to call so suddenly."_

"…"

"_Stop it."_

"**Stop what?"**

"_Grinning. I know you are."_

"**Who even says 'grinning' anymore? I was simply smiling because you are adorable."**

"_Do you have a crush on me, Dean Winchester?"_

"**Maybe I do."**

"_Or maybe you just like my pie."_

"**Why, I'd never."**

"_What?"_

"**Iunno, something I hear old ladies say in movies. Hey, stop laughing. Who was the kid you sent anyway?"**

"_Neighbor's son. I bribed him with candy."_

"**You know, I can figure out where he lives."**

"_But you won't."_

"**I won't."**

28th August, (Tuesday)

**01:02 A.M.**

**I just imagined you naked on my bed. Which is weird because I don't even know what you look like.**

_01:02 A.M._

_Dean_

_._

**01:03 A.M.**

**You know you love me.**

_01:05 A.M._

_What have I gotten myself into?_

**01:06 A.M.**

**Hey! Offended!**

_01:07 A.M._

_Go to sleep, Dean._

**01:08 A.M.**

**Okay, okay. Yeesh. It was a joke.**

_06:00 A.M_

_Oh, God. I'm sorry, okay?_

_06:01 A.M._

_I didn't mean to blow you off or anything._

_06:02 A.M._

_At least not in that way._

_06:04 A.M._

_Oh, Jesus, someone take this phone away from me._

/Incoming call; 06:07 A.M./

"_Dean?"_

"**Cas, message me one more time about how sorry you are and I will end you."**

"_Of course. Yes, okay, I won't bother you again, I didn't me-"_

"**Cas, stop it. I was acting inappropriately, I get that, and you don't have to apologize."**

"_Okay. You should go back to sleep, Dean, you sound exhausted."_

"**So do you, how come you're not snoozin'?"**

"_I, um. I have this… issue. Insomnia. I'll fall asleep by 9 or something."_

"…"

"_Dean? Are you asleep? Okay, Castiel, stupid question-"_

"**What, no. Yeah, I just, um, do you want to talk? Until you fall asleep. I don't like the sound of you alone, just sitting in bed."**

"_I was watching a movie."_

"**Oh, sorry."**

"_It's over."_

"**Sorry, who broke it off?"**

"_Dean!"_

"**What, made you laugh!"**

"**-and now he's in his last year at Stanford. You'd really get along well and-uh, Cas?"**

"_Mhph."_

"**Shhh. It's okay. Go back to sleep."**

"_Stay."_

"**You know, you kinda remind me of Sammy when he was like 5."**

"_Mhmm. Shut up."_

_11:09 A.M._

_Oh God, how long were you on the line?_

**11:10 A.M.**

**Iunno, I fell asleep and when I woke up by 10, I had hung up.**

_11:11 A.M._

_Okay. Sorry if I was all… thingy._

**11:13 A.M.**

**Chick-flicky? You're lucky I like you so much. And did you just say thingy?**

_11:15 A.M._

_I'm not a morning person, okay?_

**11: 16 A.M.**

**How can you be a teacher and not be a morning person?**

_11:16 A.M._

_Professor._

**11:20 A.M.**

**Touchy. Well, I have to go and start my day and come up with a good excuse as to why I wasn't at work this morning. Talk to you later, honey.**

/Incoming call; 02:00 P.M.

"**Seriously?"**

"_Take it as an apology for making you late."_

"**Are you trying to poison me, Cas?"**

"_Oh, God, is it really that bad?"_

"**No offense, you're baking is divine but, um, your cooking? Not so much. Why is it so salty?"**

"_To, uh, ward away demons?"_

"**How considerate of you."**

"_Oh, God, it was a new recipe and I was bored and I am so sorry-"_

"**It's okay, yeesh. It was considerate, no one's actually done something like this for me before."**

"_Okay. Good, okay."_

"**Well, darlin', I have work to do, and I'm pretty sure you do too so, I'll be home by 10 tonight, sweetheart."**

"_10?"_

"**Love you, mwah, mwah."**

"_Dea-"_

**10:49 P.M.**

**You really do have an amazing sex voice.**

_10:50 P.M._

_Are we back at this?_

**10:51 P.M.**

**Do you want to be back at this? Because, damn, I can make you scream like never before.**

_10:51 P.M._

_Dean!_

_10:52 P.M._

_And that was a horrible pick up line._

**10:53 P.M.**

**Spare me the crap, you're gay, I'm smoking hot and horny right now and I know the effect I can have on people.**

_10:54 P.M._

_Are you drunk?_

**10:55 P.M.**

**Do I sound drunk to you?**

_10:57 P.M._

_Yes._

**10:59 P.M.**

**So maybe I had a /little/ to drink. Sue me, it's my day off. So, are we sexting or what?**

_00:00 P.M._

_Dean, I'm not going to… 'sext' with you._

**00:00 P.M.**

**Suit yourself.**

"_Dean!"_

"**What, you said no sexting."**

"_Phone sex isn't on the menu either."_

"**Heh, we'll see about that."**

"_Dean, you're not yourself. Go to sleep."_

"**No. I am horny as fuck and my 'date' just ran out on me because I couldn't get hard because all I think about when I close my eyes is your fucking voice, so please."**

"_Dean."_

"**Cas, what're you wearing?"**

"_What?"_

"**Clothing, attire, whatchu got on your sexy body?"**

"_Dean, you have no way of knowing if I am physically appealing."_

"**Sex voice makes up for that."**

_"My voice is perfectly normal. Now go to sleep."_

**"But Cas-"**

_"Bed, Dean. Now."_

**"Now you're talking with sense!"**

_"You know what I meant."_

**"Okay, let's have it your way. But I don't like to sleep with my clothes on, do you like to sleep with your clothes on, Cas?"**

_"Take them off then. I'm hanging up."_

**"Cas, why are you such an ass to me?"**

_"I'm not, you're just-"_

**"AW FUCKING.. FUCK!"**

_"What is it now?"_

**"I was trying to get into my boxers but I fell from the stairs."**

_"Jesus, Dean. Are you okay?"_

**"My thigh hurts."**

_"I'm sure you're overreacting."_

**"Maybe you could kiss it so it wouldn't hurt?"**

_"I'm not kissing your penis, Dean."_

**"It's not my penis, it's my- Why not?"**

_"I'm miles away from you."_

**"And that's the only problem? Good to know."**

_"Damnit, Dean."_

**"You didn't answer my question."**

_"What question?"_

**"What are you wearing, Cas?"**

_"..."_

**"I'm picturing you in a white shirt with a red tie. And black pants."**

_"The tie is blue. They say it matches my eyes."_

**"I see you're finally into me."**

_"I didn't say I'm-"_

**"I just sat on my bed. I got rid of my jeans. Now it's boxers and a t-shirt."**

_"Why are you telling me this?"_

**To get you hard."**

_"..."_

**"Are you hard yet, Cas?"**

_"I don't even know how you look."_

**"Should I send you a picture?"**

_"Dean, I-"_

**"..."**

**"Did you like it?"**

_"Why did you take off your shirt? Why do you pose like a porn star?"_

**"Did you like it? You did."**

_"I... maybe."_

**"Now you owe me some sexy pics, Cassie."**

_"Don't call me like I'm a girl."_

**"I'm sorry, mister. So how about those pictures?"**

_"Any requests?"_

**"Unbutton your shirt."**

_"Dean."_

**"You asked."**

_"Fine!"_

**"Cas."**

_"What?"_

**"Caaaas."**

_"What is it, Dean?"_

**"I would eat chocolate from your chest."**

_"Jesus, Dean."_

**"You hard yet?"**

_"Are you?"_

**"It would be hard not to be hard, if you know what I mean."**

_"What are you doing?"_

**"I'm staring into your deep, blue eyes and I have a hand in my boxers. How about you?"**

_"It's getting hot here. I'm going to take off my shirt."_

**"Yes. You do it. Imagine I'm taking it off. With my teeth. And then your pants. Imagine my tongue is on your right nipple."**

_"Why right?"_

**"It's easier to hold you, while my hand is getting into your boxers."**

_"..."_

**"Cas? Cas? You hard yet?"**

_"Your hand is in my boxers."_

**"So?"**

_"Of course I'm hard."_

**"Good."**

_"Dean?"_

**"Uhum?"**

_"Your date. Was she hot?"_

**"Not as hot as you are."**

_"What were you doing with her? Exactly."_

**"I don't remember... We were kissing against a wall I think. Then she removed my pants and took me into her mouth. Then she ran away."**

_"Because you were too sexy for her?"_

**"Maybe. And maybe because I wasn't hard. Maybe because she wasn't you."**

_"How would you feel if I pinned you to a wall?"_

**"Turned on."**

_"Imagine that."_

**"Damn, Cas, you're hot when you're talking dirty. In control and everything."**

_"You like that?"_

**"Yeah."**

_"And I thought you were the alpha male."_

**"I'd make an exception for you."**

_"And would you like me on my knees before you?"_

**"Damn Cas, just kneel."**

_"Where are your hands, Dean?"_

**"Can I- can I put them in your fluffy hair?"**

_"Don't ask stupid questions."_

**"Yeah, Cas, okay. What now?"**

_"You said you only have your boxers on, correct?"_

**"Yeah?"**

_"Imagine I'm taking them off then."_

**"God, yes."**

_"Are they gone, Dean?"_

**"Uhuhm."**

_"I'll take that as a 'yes'. Now, imagine I get up in front of you. I'm about an inch or two shorter then you. I lean in, my breathe on your neck. I'm not even touching you yet. Are you hard, Dean?"_

"**Fuck, Cas."**

"_Dean. Are you hard? Painfully hard?"_

"**Oh, God, yes."**

"_Good. Good. I'm leaning closer, still not touching. I press my lips against your neck."_

"**My hands go around your neck, my fingers in your hair, pulling."**

"_I lick your neck. Suck it. Then your torso. Your nipples, oh god. I'm on my knees again."_

"**Oh- fuck, Cas, don't stop there."**

"_Don't touch yourself, Dean."_

"**Argh, why the fuck not?"**

"_Because. Imagine my hands trailing your hip bones, getting closer and closer but not, no, not touching."_

"**Cas. I can't- I- Cas, come o-"**

"_Shh, Dean. Don't you want me to touch you?"_

"**Yes."**

"_Then patience."_

"**O-okay."**

"_Now my tongue is on your hip bone. Going further. On your thigh. How does that feel?"_

"**Damn, Cas. Can I touch myself already?"**

"_No."_

"**Cas. I'm begging you. I- I can't handle it any longer."**

"_You're begging me?"_

"**I am."**

"_Very well. I'm going up. Imagine me touching you. Slowly. On the base. Just with my fingertips. Now touch yourself. Exactly like I told you."_

"**Finally. Just give me a second. Keep going."**

"_I'm kissing your thighs. My left hand is on your ass. The right one is still caressing you. Now faster. And a little harder. What are you doing, Dean?"_

"**Damn, Cas, you're torturing me. My body is trembling under your touch. Please, just blow me already."**

"_Patience. Where are your hands?"_

"**One is against a wall. I would fall on my knees if it weren't there. The other one is in your hair. Tightens under your touch."**

"_Good."_

"**Cas..."**

"_So you're moaning for me now? What do you want, Dean?"_

"**Fuck, Cas, I said what I want! Why won't you just do it already?"**

"_I enjoy you. I want to hear you moan some more. Will you moan for me, Dean?"_

"**Cas, Jesus, please."**

"_I'm kissing you. Soft. Higher and higher. Finally, I reached your base."_

"**You're perfect, Cas, fuck, don't you dare stopping now."**

"_Spit on your hand, Dean."_

"**What?"**

"_You heard me. Do as I say, Dean. Spit on it. Imagine it's my mouth. Now touch yourself. How are you feeling?"_

"**I don't think I can last much longer."**

"_Keep going. I'm sucking on you. Licking the top. Slowly, at first. Then the pace is getting faster. I'm helping myself with a hand."_

"**Son of a bitch, Cas, I'm close, I'm gonna-"**

"_Let's finish it then. Speed up. Do it as fast as you can. Don't stop yourself. You can curse, scream, moan my name."_

"**Cas, you little fucker, I hate you, Cas, CAS, I- GOD."**

"_Dean. Dean? Talk to me, Dean."_

"**I... Cas. I'm done. You're my personal sex god. Thanks."**

"_You won't even remember it tomorrow. You're still drunk."_

"**So? It doesn't really matter. You will."**


	4. Chapter 4

29thAugust, (Wednesday)

/Incoming call; 09:38 A.M./

"_Dean."_

"**Holy mother of Jesus in** **heaven, what the fuck happened?"**

"_Calm down, Dean."_

"**No, no, no, I want to know why I'm all sticky and content feeling when I distinctly remember not getting laid last night-holy fuck, last night."**

"_You were drunk."_

"**Shit. Cas, shit. I'm so sorry. I just, I don't know what came over me. Actually, I was really horny and you are really hot and it's not like I'm not attracted to you or anything and holy shit, I am not good in morning. Mornings are not good for me."**

"_Dean, it's okay. It was both of us."_

"**You- we,**_** phone sex**_**, Cas. **_**PHONE SEX**_**."**

"_Are you done with your little freak out? It was a one time thing, you weren't in your right mind, how about we forget this even happened?"_

"**Yeah. Yeah, I can, yeah."**

"_Good."_

"**Good."**

"_**Uh, Cas."**_

"_Yes?"_

"**I don't remember much but from what I do remember, you-"**

"_Yeaaah?"_

"**You were really good."**

"… I know."

30th August (Thursday)

01:16 P.M.

So, what you're saying is, you had amazing phone sex and now you won't talk to him properly?

**01:17 P.M.**

**Exactly, Sammy.**

01:19 P.M.

a) too much info, Dean. b) Dick move.

**01:20 P.M.**

**Dude, how am I supposed to recover from that? I mean, it was mind-blowing and it was on the PHONE, Sam. Everytime I talk to him now, I feel like licking chocolate off of him.**

01:21 P.M.

Oh, Jesus. I'm coming over.

/Incoming call; 06:52/

"_Gabriel, I'm busy, what do you want?"_

"**So you don't want to know that I ran into your lovely love at Harvelle's?"**

"…"

"**I'm looking at them right now. Bet if you come over, they'd still be here. He's with his brother, by the way. Good genes in the family, I'll tell you that.**

"_Gabriel."_

"**What? Why do you get to have all the fun?"**

"_Because I'm more sensible."_

"**Well, I'm not the one having phone sex with a stranger. A hot stranger, but a stranger none the less."**

"…"

"**Cassy? No. No way. No fucking way in Hell. You didn't!"**

"_He's not a stranger. I know Dean quite well."_

"**Well done, man. I mean, I didn't know you had it in you but you know what? After all this time being so conservative, it's about time you blew. Through the phone."**

"_For God's sake, Gabrie-"_

"**Can I tell Luke?"**

"_NO."_

"**Please please? Come on, he'll be so proud of you!"**

"_Exactly. Luke isn't exactly the best role model, Gabe."_

"**Shut up, he's the awesome-est of them all. Plus, he earns more then Michael which, I bet, annoys the crap out of everyone in our family."**

"_He's an attorney."_

"**And he works that job like a hooker pole."**

"_Oh God, now I have this horrible image in my head. Fuck you very much, I didn't need that."_

"**What are siblings for? Anyway, phone sex, really, Cas?"**

"_It was… unexpected."_

"**I'd think he'd jump your bones if he saw you. Hey, what's his brother's name?"**

"_It's Sam. And don't you do anything, Gabe."_

"**You know me, Cas. A regular angel."**

"_You're named after an arch angel."_

"**So, what does this Dean dude do for a living?"**

"_He's a cop."_

"**Oh, my fucking god."**

"_What? Gabriel. Gabriel!"_

"**If I remember correctly, dear brother of mine…"**

"_Eh?"_

"**You have a uniform kink, don't you?"**

"_What, no!"_

"**Yes, you do. Don't think I don't remember high school and Johnny Ashland."**

"_I- no-shut up."_

"**How articulate of you."**

"_Why are my kinks your concern?"_

"**Kinks? As in plural?"**

"…"

"**CASTIEL, YOU KINKY FUCKER."**

"_Fuck you very much, you didn't have to scream."_

"**Well, Dean heard it, so yeah, I did."**

"_Burn in hell."_

"**Will do. I see Dean picking up his phone. I'll leave you kids to it. Bye!"**

"_Gab-"_

**07:15 P.M.**

**Why is your brother screaming?**

_07:16 P.M._

_You didn't happen to hear what he was screaming, did you?_

**07:16 P.M.**

**Oooooh yeah.**

1st September (Saturday)

**01:00 A.M.**

**Hey, Cas, remember that time you told me that your brother calls you every year?**

_01:28 A.M._

_Sorry, finishing up my reading for Monday's class._

**01:30 A.M.**

**It's okay. And your name is Castiel Novak, right?**

_01:31 A.M._

_And you're Dean Winchester. Where is this going?_

**01:32 A.M.**

**That would mean that the Raphael and Michael Novak on the news are your brothers?**

_01:35 A.M._

_Oh, my God._

**01:36 A.M.**

**I'm sorry, Cas.**

/Incoming call; 1:35 A.M./

"**Cas, it's kinda lat-"**

"_Gabriel."_

"**Hey, kiddo, what's wrong, you sound wrecked."**

"_The news, Gabriel, turn on th- the news."_

"…**That stupid son of a bitch."**

"_Gabriel, we have to go back. We have to- we-"_

"**Calm down, Cas-"**

"_HOW CAN YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN?"_

"**CAS. I know, okay, I know. I'll make some calls, find out what hospital they're in, you pack your things, okay? Cas, got that?"**

"_Yes. Yes, I understand."_

"**Okay, good."**

"_Gabriel?"_

"**Yeah?"**

"_What if-"_

"**Don't, Cas. Just don't. You know it's not true."**

/Incoming call, 01:45 A.M./

"**Dammit, Cas, you could have picked up the phone, I was worried."**

"_I- I was talking to Gabriel. We're leaving."_

"**Okay. Are you- Cas, are you okay?"**

"…"

"**Cas?"**

"_No. I could have stopped it, I could have-"_

"**Cas, come on, there's no way you could have stopped it or known."**

"_I did. I knew they were going to be in that car. They wouldn't have been in that car if it weren't for me."_

"**Cas, what do you mean?"**

**(1) Message: Gabriel**

**01:47 A.M.**

**Luke's on his way, they're at Mary Grace Hospital. I'll pick you up in 15.**

"_Um, I, they were coming for me, Dean. They kept calling me and I got pissed after Raphael started yelling at me and I ignored all their calls and I got these voice mails and messages and they just wanted to talk, I knew something was wrong but I didn't- oh, god, I didn't reply and the last one said they were coming for me and that I- I needed to get home as soon as possible but I ignored it and now, Dean, they're, fuck, they're gone."_

"**Hey, hey. That doesn't make it your fault, Cas. You had reason to stay away from them, they haven't been the nicest to you in the past. They kicked you out."**

"_I know, Jesus, Dean, I know but I just, I can't stop it. I-they're my brothers, Dean. I still love them and, fucking hell, I can't do this. I can't, I'll have a breakdown, I know I will-"_

"**Okay, listen up, Cas. None of this is your fault. It may be fate's fault, the car's fault, the slippery roads fault, heck, it might even be God's fault, no offense, but it's not YOUR fault. It's not. So stop feeling guilty and go and see them, okay?"**

"_Okay. I, uh, I have to go. Gabriel is outside. I'll, um, talk to you later?"_

"**Call me as soon as you land. Call me whenever."**

"_Hey, Dean."_

"**Yeah?"**

"_Are you normally this nice to people you just met a month ago?"_

"**I'm not even this nice to some people I've known all my life."**

"_So, why this?"_

"**Because, you idiot, you're a weirdo. Now go."**

"_Bye, Dean."_

"**Talk to you soon, darlin'"**

**07:17 A.M.**

**Are you okay?**

_07:18 A.M._

_You're concern is soooo touching._

**07:19 A.M.**

**Cas?**

_07:19 A.M._

_Guess again, lover boy._

**07:20 A.M.**

**Gabriel.**

_07:21 A.M._

_Don't you sound touchy? And no. Guess AGAIN._

**07:22 A.M.**

**Where's Cas?**

_07:23 A.M._

_So that's how it's going to be? Name's Balthazar. Cassie is currently asleep._

_/picture attached/_

_Doesn't he look simply angelic?_

**07:24 A.M.**

**Don't you own beds? Why are you letting him sleep like that?**

_07:25 A.M._

_Yeah, you try budging the guy. He weighs 70 or 80 kgs, I am but a weakling._

**07:25 A.M.**

**Right, listen buddy, tell Cas to call me when he wakes up.**

_07:26 A.M._

_BUT WHY WON'T YOU TALK TO ME?_

_07:27 A.M._

_DEAN._

/Incoming call; 06:57 P.M./

"Cas, hey."

"_Uh, who is this?"_

"It's Sam."

"_Hello, Sam. Is Dean there?"_

"Jeez, Cas, you sound exhausted. Have you slept?"

"_Yes, Sam."_

"Okay, okay. Dean's under the hood, let me just- OI, DEAN. DEAN. IT'S CAS. CAAASS. He's coming."

"**Hey, Cas."**

"_Dean."_

"**You sound fucking exhausted, please tell me you've got some actual sleep on an actual bed."**

"_Uh, not exactly. I just, we just finished the whole family meeting thing. They're planning the, uh-"_

"**Funeral?"**

"_Yeah. Yeah. I might stay out here for a few days. I just, I can't-"_

"**Cas, it's okay. You don't have to explain yourself to me."**

"_Yeah, no, I know. But, I'm just-uh, letting you know. I'll be back by Sunday night."_

"**You mean tomorrow night? Cas, is that really enough time to-"**

"_The funeral's tomorrow morning. The accident was huge news, everyone already knows. I'll be back by tomorrow night."_

"**That's, uh, that's good, Cas."**

"_Good."_

"…"

"…"

"**Cas, are you-"**

"_If you ask me if I'm okay, I'm going to punch you through the phone."_

"**I thought the expression was, 'kiss me through the phone.'"**

"_That too, if you want."_

"…"

"_What?"_

"**Nothing, nothing. Just, when did we start talking more than texting?"**

"_When I gave you the most amazing phone sex you'll ever get."_

"… **Ookay, Cas, I think you need sleep. Right now."**

"_Urgh, I just need to forget."_

"**That can be arranged."**

"_Ho-what, no. Shut up, Dean."_

"**Just offer-"**

"_Don't."_

"**Tempted?"**

"_Shut up."_

"**All I'm saying is it could help with the, you know, frustration."**

"_And I'm saying I can't jerk off in a hospital."_

"**Go to the men's room."**

"_I am in the men's room, Dean."_

"**Imagine I'm pushing you up against the wall."**

"_Dea-"_

"**I know what you look like, Cas. I can imagine looking up at you when I'm on my knees in front of you-"**

"_Dean."_

"**Teasing your belt-"**

"_Dean, if you don't stop now, I might just come undone here. Do you really want some random guy to see me like this?"_

"**Hmm, point."**

"_I'll- I'll talk to you when I get home, okay?"_

"**Sure thing."**

"_What were you doing when you were, uh, talking to me."_

"**Checking the fridge for food, why?"**

"_You're completely unaffected by this."_

"**I like the sound of you coming undone."**

"_You've never heard me come undone."_

"**Exactly."**


	5. Chapter 5

/Incoming call;11:11/

"**Make a wish, Cas."**

_"Dean?"_

"**Hey."**

"Hey."

"**Why are you whispering?"**

"_Brothers and relatives everywhere."_

"**So, you can't make a sound through out the orgasm I'm about to give you?"**

"_Dean."_

"**Jesus, you already sound so wrecked."**

"_Why are you so stubborn?"_

"**I'm not, I just want to give you an orgasm you deserve."**

"_But why in front of my family?"_

"**I like the danger. Do you like the danger, Cas?"**

"_Dean, it's not the right time."_

"**Where are you?"**

"_Living room. Lots of relatives around."_

"**Are you alone?"**

"_Kind of. Everyone's busy with eachother. I'm on a couch."_

"**Okay then. Perfect. What are you wearing?"**

"_Dean, please, don't start."_

"**I just want to imagine how your feeling in your darkest moments!"**

"_Are you making fun of my brothers' death?"_

"**No! Who do you think I am? I'm just asking what you've got on your sexy ass."**

"_White shirt. Black vest. Black tie. Black pants. What did you expect?"_

"**A dress."**

"_What?"_

"**It was a joke."**

"_Right. What are __**you**__ wearing, Dean?"_

"**My work uniform. I'm at work actua- What… Cas, oh my God, did I just hear a gasp?"**

"… _No."_

"**Okay, suit yourself! Imagine I'm unbuttoning my work jacket. It's only this and my bare chest."**

"_Dean, my family. Is. Right. Here."_

"**So? I only described you my clothes. It's nothing dirty. It would be dirty if I was kneeling before that couch you're sitting on and unzipping your pants with my teeth."**

"_Shut up."_

"**Oh, I would shut up. My tongue would be busy trailing along your thighs. Now I took off your underwear. I'm kissing you. Licking you. Biting even. Everywhere. How are you feeling, Cas?"**

"_Okay, you got what you wanted, just stop asking me questions and finish what you started!"_

"**My hand joined my mouth and now I'm jerking you off. Slow at first, then faster, then slow again. I'm torturing you, Cas. Are you touching yourself?"**

"_I can't, my family-"_

"**Right, family. You know what? Screw them, I want you to touch yourself, I want to feel it. Come on."**

"_I can't just sit there with a hand in my boxers."_

"**So don't. Touch through the clothes. I'm sure you'll so turned on you'll feel it."**

"_Dean, I'll- fuck you, I'll come undone, I swear to God-"_

"**That's what I want you to do, come on Cas, imagine me there with you, forget your family, forget you're fully clothed, it's just you and me, I'm on my knees in my fucking uniform, come on-"**

"_Damn!"_

"**Cas?"**

"…"

"**Caaaas? You alive?"**

"…"

"**Cas, seriously, if you won't answer-"**

"_Sorry. Had to run to the bathroom."_

"_And stop laughing."_

"**Oh, you're adorable."**

"_Fuck you."_

"**I know you want to."**

"_I thought that was a one time thing?"_

"**Yes, well. You were way too quiet."**

"_Dean, I'm in a house full of mourners."_

"**It made you feel better."**

"…_Yeah, it did."_

"**Seeeeeee?"**

"_Fuck you very much."_

"**I know, I know."**

"**Why are we silent?"**

"_I, uh, don't know what to say?"_

"**What did you say the last time?"**

"_You passed out."_

"**Which was rude of me."**

"_Shut up, Dean."_

"**Stop saying that so… fondly."**

"_Sure."_

"_I have to go to my family now."_

"**Okay."**

"…"

"…"

"_Dean?"_

"**Yeah?"**

"_My return flight is at 03:45 A.M."_

"**Okay."**

"_I don't have my car."_

"**Do you- Cas, I mean-"**

"_If you don't mind?"_

"**No, no, it's fine! Really, I'll pick you up."**

"_Thanks, Dean."_

"**Shhh, go mingle. I'll talk to you later."**

"_Bye. And I hate you."_

"**Bye. And no, you don't."**

"_I don't."_

_2__nd__ September_

**09:12 A.M.**

**I NEED SUGAR.**

_09:13 A.M._

_No._

**09:15 A.M.**

**PLEASE, CAS. PLEEASE. I'M GETTING SUGAR WITHDRAWL HERE.**

_09:16 A.M._

_It's really your own fault. Go to the kitchen and get it._

**09:17 A.M.**

**Luke's down there. He just came from the hospital.**

_09:18 A.M._

_Any news?_

**09:20 A.M.**

**None that I've heard of.**

_09:21 A.M._

_Honestly, I didn't think he'd show for the funeral._

**09:22 A.M.**

**He always did care about Michael more. But Raphael was his brother too. He wouldn't miss a brother's funeral, no matter how much they hated each other.**

_09:24 A.M._

_Luke's staying back, apparently. When's our flight back?_

**09:25 A.M.**

**Already told you, Cassy. Won't tell you again, because sugar withdrawal.**

_09:26 A.M._

_Dean's coming to pick me up._

**09:27 A.M.**

**Oh, fuck you very much, I WANT SOMEONE TO PICK ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT AT 4 IN THE MORNING, WHY CAN I HAVE THAT, WHY CAS, WHHHYYY?**

**09:28 A.M.**

**Maybe I over reacted.**

**09:29 A.M.**

**WAS THAT YOU WHO JUST LEFT?**

**09:30 A.M.**

**ARE YOU GOING TO TALK TO YOUR SWEET HAAARRT**

**09:32 A.M.**

**CAS?**

/Incoming call; 09:28 A.M./

"**Are you still at the funeral?"**

"_Finished off early."_

"**Pretty early."**

"_We buried him at dawn."_

"**That is… depressing. You know, I remember burying my mom at dawn. My dad later told me it was because when he proposed to her, he'd woken her up right before dawn, taken her to this place in the Impala and listed everything he loved about her. When the sun finally came up, he kissed her and asked her to marry him."**

"_That sounds amazing. More like something the mother would tell."_

"**Yeah, well, he was drunk and he had just accidently hit me and he was apologizing, so I didn't really question it."**

"_Dean."_

"**Yeah?"**

"_Why?"_

"**Why what?"**

"_Why are you talking to me? Why telling me personal things? Why are you sending me pictures over the phone? Why are you coming to pick me up at 4 in the morning?"_

"**What's the meaning of all this?"**

"_Dean."_

"**Seriously, Cas. Look, I know you're a professor so you have this awful habit of over thinking things. Don't over think this, okay? I have no ulterior motive, I talk to you because I like talking to you, I tell you things because you're easy to talk to. I sent you a picture over the phone because I was drunk and I'm picking you up at 4 in the morning because I want to meet you because you're amazing and you've been through a lot, so I don't want you to take some depressing cab home."**

"_Gabriel's going to take some depressing cab home."_

"**Gabriel's going to take some depressing cab to the nearest 24 hour store and buy load of sweets."**

"_True."_

"**So, any more profound questions?"**

"_How can this be so simple?"_

"**Cas, do you like me?"**

"… _What do you mean, like?"_

"**I mean, do you want to rip my clothes off and have your wicked way with me. Also, do you like me, like, 'hey, I wouldn't mind dating this guy.'?"**

"…"

"**Cas?"**

"_Yes! Yes, I mean, yeah, uh, not that, you know-"_

"**Me too, okay? So, if you're cool with it and I'm cool with it, so we don't need to have some huge love story with profound moments and life lessons, okay? I'm great with whatever we have."**

"_Wow. Okay, I was not expecting this. Did Sam tell you to say all that?"_

"**I'm offended, Cas. You think I can't talk about my feelings without someone telling me to?"**

"_He did, didn't he?"_

"**I don't know what you're talking about."**

"_Sure, you don't, sweetheart. I'm going to the hospital to visit Michael."_

"**Yeah, ok- wait, what? Wasn't the funeral this morning?"**

"_Yeah?"_

"**So, um, why are you going to the hospital?"**

"_It was Raphael's funeral, Dean. Michael is still alive. He's in a coma."_

"**I… did not know that. Wow, really?"**

"_Yeah. Luke never leaves his side. He just talks non stop to him about God only knows what."_

"**Is it hard for you? What am I saying of course it is. I- Are you okay?"**

"_I've been better. But, you know, I'm better then Luke. He and Michael were particularly close before his fall out. It's like, I don't know, Luke would rather have Mike angry with him then in that hospital bed."_

"**Michael would have a hard time hating Luke when he wakes up to find Luke there."**

"_It's sad. They never hated each other. They really loved each other. It was like they needed each other, you know? Michael helped Luke with his more sinister side and Luke taught Mike how to have fun."_

"**They sound great."**

"_Urgh, I'm sorry. I just started talking an-"_

"**No, no, it's okay. You never talk about your family much and I know how it feels, losing someone close to you. Voicing your thoughts helps. Talk to me."**

"_Okay. So, there was actually this one time-"_

"**DID YOU GET ME SUGAR?"**

"_Go away, Gabe." _

"**DID YOU?"**

"_HOLY- OW-LUKE! BALTHAZAR! HELP!"_

"What is going on here?"

"_Luke, Gabriel's gone insane!"_

"Gabriel, get off of Cas."

"**I like him, he's squishy."**

"_Gabriel, my back, hurts, get off."_

"Gabriel, come on. There's ice cream in the fridge."

"_Thank God. Wow, Luke, look at you, all older brotherly."_

"There's no ice cream in the fridge."

"**LUKE NOVAK!"**

"_Yeah, okay, good luck with that. I'm going to go and avoid Gabriel."_

_05:21 P.M._

_Thanks, Sam._

05:22 P.M.

Someone needed to. 

05:22 P.M.

You owe me, jerk.

**05:23 P.M.**

**Whatever, bitch. You were the one with the "I understand you," attitude and the Cosmo advice.**

/Incoming call; 3:50 A.M./

"**Cas?"**

"_Hey, I was just checking, to, you know,"_

"**Make sure I wasn't asleep?"**

"_Pretty much."_

"**I'm not asleep. I'm waiting for you outside."**

"_Really?"_

"**Yeah."**

"_Reaaaally?"_

"**Cas?"**

"_Dean, I believe I am nervous."_

"**Me too? Come on, Cas. Is Gabriel with you?"**

"_No, he ran off somewhere, crying out for sugar."_

"**Adorable. Come out or I'm coming in to get you."**

"_I am out."_

"**What, where?"**

"_I…"_

"**Cas."**

"_You're not all that threatening. I can see the expression on your face. You look nervous too."_

"**You can see- where are you."**

"_Left."_

"…"

"_Your other left."_

"**Please tell me you're not that old man with the beard."**

"_A little to the right."_

"**Oh."**

"_Hi."_

"**Hey."**

"…"

"**You should get in my arms. Like, right now. This instant. Sooner if possible."**

**07:01 A.M.**

**YOU DIDN'T COME HOME LAST NIGHT.**

_07:02 A.M._

_Did you break into my apartment last night?_

**07:04 A.M.**

**Not exactly. It's not breaking in if I have the keys.**

_07:05 A.M._

_I'm at Dean's._

**07:06 A.M.**

**HAD FUN? I BET YOU JUST SAT AROUND EATING SCONES AND TEXTING.**

_07:07 A.M._

_AS A MATTER OF FACT, I FUCKED HIM AND NOW HE DOESN'T WANT TO GET OFF THE BED. And, scones?_

**07:08 A.M.**

**Doctor Who reference, Winchester. Cas would have gotten it. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY BROTHER?**

_07:09 A.M._

_He needs some sleep before his class at 9._

**07:10 A.M.**

**Okay, I'll give you the threatening older brother speech later, okay? It's kinda early for me.**

_07:12 A.M._

_Okay._

From: Luke

To: Gabriel

Message: MIKE IS UP.

**From: Gabriel**

**To: Luke**

**Message: YAY. THEY FUCKED. HAPPINESS ALL AROUND.**

From: Luke

To: Gabriel

Message: PARTAY. COME OUT NEXT WEEK. I HAVE TO GO, MIKE'S STARTED BITCHING ABOUT WORK AND SHIT LIKE THAT.

**From: Gabriel**

**To: Luke**

**Message: GREAT. WE CAN GIVE WINCHESTER THE THREAT TOGETHER.**

From: Luke

To: Gabriel

Message: THE ONE WHERE WE THREATEN TO DISEMBOWEL HIM, CUT OFF HIS BALLS AND FEED IT TO HIM AND LEAVE THE REST OF HIM BLOODY AND FOR DOGS TO CHEW ON?

**From: Gabriel**

**To: Luke**

**Message: That's the reason you're my favorite.**

From: Luke

To: Gabriel

Message: Fuck off, my favorite's demanding my attention.

_**-FIN-**_

_**So, this is it for this fic! I know that it's not completely finished and that it leaves room for more. Orginally, this was going to be way longer and much more angsty and complicated but there's only so much I can do in this format. I have an important exam coming up, so I might write a sequel in a month or so.  
A gigantic thanks to**_ _**Zuza**__**, who basically saved this fic from rotting in my computer half finished, for helping me through this and staying awake late with me to write porn, which is of course, the quality of an awesome person.  
Thank you for reading!  
HERE, HAVE VIRTUAL PIES AND BURGERS.**_


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